Y’all. I don’t like to decorate.
Don’t get me wrong, I love and appreciate a beautiful tree, lights, stunning ribbon... GLITTER. But, as much as we are gone... I can think of a million other things I’d rather spend my money on.
Let me also say, I have not always been this way.
This is lack of willingness to decorate and truly get into the Christmas spirit is something that has “snowballed” over the past few years. This is now me being transparent (which I don’t like doing in my personal life) and I can’t believe I am even writing this all out. But, I will admit; I am too tired. I’m give out. I am upset. Maybe still and always grieving over my brother around this time of year. Maybe bitter that my lack luster family on one side has completely fallen apart and is nothing like the memories of my childhood. I can admit, I have not been really finding the joy in what used to be so joyous.
Until 4 years ago...it has started to get a little better and better each year. That child-like faith and spirit is starting to rub off on me and the holidays mean a little more to me again. I’m so thankful for my baby girl to make me realize.... we can make new memories. She is at such a fun age and it’s only going to get better and better.
Yesterday Myleigh Pearl and I ran into Hobby Lobby to get more lights for the tree because... of course! Half of them didn’t work. If you know me... this is a constant theme in my life. The store, the house, our Shasta camper break lights... it’s always a problem. Our lights never work. So of course we need a new strand to replace the old. We ran in there quickly. As we went down each aisle; amazed at the already picked over selection we decided to completely start from scratch... so there we were, picking out new decorations. Making new memories.
Now, as soon as we got home... I’ll admit I rubbed the princesses back and put her to bed. Drank a glass of wine and laughed so hard that the lights I ran in to buy didn’t even match the ones we had. Of course. Of course they didn’t... be here we are. Two days later. Here we are. New memories. Many more to make. Slowly learning to love to decorate for Christmas again....